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dealing with bipolar reddit

The pattern of highs and lows varies for each person: For some people, episodes of mania or depression can last for weeks or months, while for others, mood swings are shorter and more frequent. Bipolar disorder is a mental disorder characterized by extreme changes in a person’s mood. While many people with bipolar disorder may remain symptom-free for periods of time, their symptoms can return at an… I try really hard never to take out my depression on a partner." I feel for anyone dealing with mental illness especially when their family members or friends don't understand. Just because you have occasional lapses in agency doesn't mean you don't need to take care of your shit. Bipolar disorder does the dirty work for me and filters out individuals who tiptoe through life. Really I feel like there's a mixed bag/wide spectrum here. A lot of people only know bipolar disorder as it's shown on TV or in movies. The world is a shinier happier place. He has been very open about his struggles with depression, anxiety, and disordered eating, though I have also witnessed him go through numerous bouts of what I think could safely be described as mania or at least hypomania. At times, its like you are a crazy person being convinced that things that happened, didn't happen. He insisted that he was fine and in fact better than ever. What you learn is that the mood swings are not day to day. I'd had no prior knowledge of how to deal with it so I did my best. Since bipolar disorder is best treated with medication and therapy, it is crucial to be supportive of your family member engaging in treatment. People with bipolar disorder need drugs, and she certainly doesn’t need those, she argues. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. There's some mental illnesses that are manageable if the sufferer is committed to treatment. Also inability to reasonably manage emotion. Bipolar disorder (BP) is a brain disorder that causes unexpected and often dramatic shifts in your mood. “I was fiery and ferocious, capable of lighting up a room or just as easily burning it down.” —Julie Kraft. Those things are much more difficult to manage long-term, so I see dating people with those illnesses as agreeing to be placed in harms way, regardless of how well they're managing. Yet, here I … And sometimes, she goes off the deep end and acts really irresponsibly. Press J to jump to the feed. Unless you know her backwards and forwards (and even then...) it's not worth the pain. I'd say my work performance is really struggling, but I'm also unnecessarily hard on myself during depressive episodes, which makes it really hard to gauge things. Bipolar disorder is characterized by extreme mood swings from mania to depression. Get on a medication plan with a psychiatrist. Based on this information I think his symptoms tend to fall more heavily into the bipolar category, though there have definitely been multiple times where his behavior reflects more of what you describe as BPD, More posts from the relationship_advice community, Continue browsing in r/relationship_advice. One thing to realize is that dating a bipolar person is inherently unfair to you - you will have to make emotional concessions for them that neither you, nor any other normal person, would need or expect, much less deserve. I have absolutely no patience for other Bipolar individuals who don't stick to a care plan or medications. He essentially gave up on school one class short of his undergrad degree because he struggled with it, despite being an A student otherwise. None of this prevents me from being a loving, caring, and attentive boyfriend. Is there even a way to? She's balanced, in a good state of mind. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. And even in the larger cosmopolitan cities, Texas is not exactly a safe place for LGBT individuals (and I think it will be very difficult to find trans specific healthcare services that operate on a sliding scale). And if someone won’t give you a chance because of a label, consider yourself lucky. r/bipolar: A safe haven for bipolar related issues. She’s simply stressed, overworked, and struggling to keep relationships and new projects alive. Most people with mental illnesses are not harmful to others and there's a higher chance they will harm themselves, rather than others. Mind elaborating on how different they are? The next day, we went back to the er where she was again committed due to her state of mind. People with bipolar disorder are often reluctant to seek help because they dont want to feel like a burden to others, so remind the person that … See Table 3 at 2008 Study in J Clin Psych. I am faithfully taking my medication (Latuda 80 mg, Depakote 1250 mg) and have a talk therapist finally. “There’s something in the brain that needs to ruminate and worry and obsess about different topics. “People with bipolar disorder can’t be trusted.” “People with bipolar disorder can’t be sexually faithful.” “People with bipolar disorder are violent or dangerous.” “People with bipolar disorder are unpredictable.” “People with bipolar disorder are manipulative.” “People with bipolar disorder can’t control their anger.” One of the things you need to be wary of is getting to a place where your partner is unhappy but not vocalizing it because you are their key support system. I want love so badly. Every so often the issue will come up because it's part of a healthy relationship to be able to talk about your emotional problems, but there's a difference between making one person deal with all of your symptoms and allowing them to help/comfort you if they express a desire to do so. Hopefully they will seek therapy, if they aren't on any medication for bi polar they might benefit from it. She began hiding things from me, most notably her medicine. I’m not even normally like this; in fact, I’m the opposite. Being in a LTR with anyone with mental health issues really means you are frequently providing one way support because your partner is dealing with their internal issues, your sex life has long dry spells as they deal with their issues (and frequently their meds play hell with their libedo) and you need to be more active in managing the relationship's health. There are a couple of already popular bipolar subs but having a specific sub just for relationships is important in order to facilitate a community of support. Dealing with Depression Suggest working towards a small goal. I dated a girl like that for 8 months. Being understanding. Bipolar mania is often accompanied by hypersexuality, an increased sex drive that involves risky, reckless behavior. They're hypersexual and prone to fits of rage. The last one is a major sticking point; many Bipolar individuals see themselves as a victim of their own brain chemistry (which they are) and claim that they aren't responsible for their actions when cycling (which they aren't) - BUT just because you aren't responsible for behaviors when cycling doesn't mean you shouldn't hold yourself accountable. Do they have a regular, consistent, effective care and management plan that they stick to, even (especially) when cycling? While he is normally pretty open to talking about mental health, this particular issue is one he has never dealt with or even admitted to. In this time I have been very aware of his struggles with mental illness. As far as I know he doesn’t have a job or housing lined up, he currently has no health insurance, no credit history, and no family to fall back on for emotional or financial help. Sometimes she'll need to drive us when we're out because I'm not quite stable enough to drive myself. My ex had Borderline Personality and Reality Disassociative, both undiagnosed. Family therapy can be a … At first she would ask me to pick her up and take her home, and eventually came to and realized where she was and why she was there. This is a tough one. Today I approach dating with one purpose— to have fun. Having bipolar disorder can be an extremely lonely experience. He has periods of extreme interest in a specific subject/activity, his self esteem can be dramatically high and then plummet, he has periods of very high energy and very little sleep, and in some more severe instances he has experienced delusions (thinking he was literally a god) and hallucinations (auditory and visual). Bipolar disorder is known for causing severe shifts in mood that can include bouts of depression and mania. Kinda feel bad for her fiance, he's got a tough road ahead of him. She also became hyper-religious, where she wasn't religious at all previously. She's come to terms with the reality of her diagnosis, which was a huge step forward. It also depends greatly on how disciplined they are with their medication regimen. And her being off her medicine, she relapsed. In the summer of 2019 he was on track to finish his degree a semester early and apply for a PhD program with a professor who he loved and who he’d already been doing research with. I feel, due to cultural expectations (the man must be "take charge" and "in control" at all times) that it was somewhat easier for me to really take responsibility for myself regardless of the real emotional and behavioral hijackings that occur...simply by making me more predisposed to taking responsibility for myself on an innate level. Once her sister and I (her sister was also diagnosed but managed it through medication) realized what was going on, we tried to commit her but she refused. It was great at times and some of the most terrifying time of my life. But the events of this past year or so have me worried about him and his ability to manage what’s going on with him. You mentioned they said they don't like how it makes them feel. I loved her, she loved me and when she was doing well everything was perfect. Things I Wish People Knew about Bipolar I Disorder My bipolar depression cycles are the worst parts of me. You can still love someone who is bipolar and have a great relationship, but it requires flexibility and forgiveness. She is now taking a low dosage of sapphris and couldn't be healthier. Eat well. These two disorders oftentimes occur together. Options for Managing Bipolar Depression Without Medication Mood stabilizers are the primary treatment for bipolar disorder but even with them, and certainly without them, bipolar … Not worth it. Eccentric, yes, you seem to be describing manic behavior. During manic episodes, a person with bipolar disorder can have an … Some people with the condition experience anger that is difficult to manage. This sub is a place that people can come for advice or just to vent so that we do not affect our significant others with our emotions. Do they end up pushing you away? One way to become involved is to participate in your loved one’s psychotherapy. You can still love someone who is bipolar and have a great relationship, but it requires flexibility and forgiveness. He's so happy now that she's gone. She complained that it made her feel terrible. You definitely need to have a flexible view of gender roles to make it work successfully. What signs do they show? Their marriage went much the same way as their dating had gone. You know the trope: One minute characters are catatonically depressed, and the next they're so manic they think they can fly off a building. You have tried suggesting help. If you have been newly diagnosed or you need to learn more about bipolar disorder, I would strongly suggest this bipolar disorder self-help book, Introductory Guide to Bipolar Disorder. I tried expressing concern for his mental health and to touch base on what his plans were about finishing his degree sometime around July because he started using really concerning language about himself (things like “I’m really fucking crazy”), which is something that he would never joke about in all the time I’ve known him. Navigating any romantic relationship -- whether it's dating or marriage -- can be a tricky endeavor. The sooner bipolar disorder is treated, the better the prognosis, so urge your loved one to seek professional help right away. It took a lot of coaxing to get her into a hospital, and trust me, it was the most gut wrenching experience of my life. I did a little research but nothing prepared me for what it was really like. All of these can be worked through and all of them occur in everyone's lives but much more frequently with a partner with mental illness. We’ve spoken about being in this together long term, we’ve been sharing a home for a year and half now, and we have very interconnected lives (shared friends, similar values, and we did have similar drives). Sometimes she sees me getting abnormally paniced or despondent, but I bring myself down and balance myself out. Her sister ended up passing away in August, which threw my gf into an awful state of mind. Unfortunately, he has been very opposed to therapy and medication for as long as I have known him, and based on his past experiences with therapy I understand why. Meditation and relaxation techniques – great for dealing with excessive energy in bipolar disorder and anxiety Social relationships – having people available to reach out to when things get bad is really important, and having people to have fun with when times are good is important, too. These moods can be intense and euphoric. Press J to jump to the feed. Bipolar disorder usually includes manic and depressive episodes, but there can also be hypomanic … It would be like WWIII for a while. Essentially, they're portrayed as completely out of control. His relationship with food and his body dysmorphia have spiraled; he lost a concerning amount of weight and isn’t eating near enough, he’s made comments about seeing himself as 300 lbs (he’s maybe 130lbs now), he completely changed up his wardrobe to clothes that are woefully unfitted to his size, and the most concerning was he stopped taking an injection medication because he didn’t feel confident in where his own leg was/its size (and didn’t tell anyone until he’d stopped doing it for weeks). I’m not myself, at least not sexually. For me? Ended up just calling her mom, explained the situation and said "you better come home, im not dealing with this shit". It's a tough process but I've seen it be done. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. It was wonderful when it went well, but in the end I think it tore us apart, she kept needing my full undivided attention and even then it sometimes wasn't enough and she'd look for it in other places behind my back. Self-help books for bipolar disorder can be very helpful in learning new bipolar disorder coping skills and learning in-depth insights about an illness that is very complex. Do they hold themselves accountable for their actions while in manic/depressive cycles? If given the chance to do it again, I probably would, but I'd want to take with me the knowledge I've gained from it. The shifts in mood associated with bipolar disorder can cause extreme changes in behavior. To answer that last one, yeah she definitely pushed me away multiple times, that's where a lot of the pain came from. Cookies help us deliver our Services. this also sounds like Borderline Personality Disorder. About 30% of bipolar sufferers also have BPD and about 40% of people with BPD (pwBPD) have co-occurring bipolar. We had the best time together but the break up was bad. And I let her have her freedom, but at what cost? He has also tried antidepressants before as a teen and he said they made him feel like a zombie. She went to visit her other sister in Dallas, at which point she refused to return home. For perspective, my GF happened to date someone with undiagnosed BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder - very different from Bipolar) and she says that he was much, much more difficult to deal with, and compared to him, my issues are hardly significant at all. But sometimes its about finding the right medication, that can take months. I (F23) and my partner (M22) have been friends for five years and in a serious relationship for three years. At the age of 36, after decades of struggle with erratic mood swings—periods of mania followed by debilitating depression—and ample doses of anxiety and frustration, Julie Kraft, a mother of three, was finally diagnosed with bipolar II disorder in 2010. Sleep regularly. Need help with your relationship? She was hospitalized for twice as long this time, and it took her longer to try any sort of medicine. She began taking lithium but it didn't really agree with her. He’s making another drastic decision and while I’m feeling a lot of personal hurt in this situation, I’m still very worried about him. For me, the signs were incredibly high highs, terribly low-lows, self-harm, and incredibly poor impulse control. Look out for her, but above all, remember to also look out for yourself. However, its also important that the people in their lives such as friends or family members know how to help when theyre going through a manic or depressive episode. He has a really rough and messy home life, he is trans, and most of his mental health experiences have had some undercurrent of “pray the gay away”. It’s been about two months and I’m finally realizing how long term of an issue this has been, and that our relationship is just another causality of this self-destructive spiral he’s going down, but I’m genuinely concerned he’s struggling with something more severe than a quarter life crisis or even just depression and that he’s not going to address getting treatment for it. Exhaustig. The balance of emotional labor will never be 50/50 - its something that needs to be accepted going into the relationship. If you find out after dating for a while and you're emotionally invested, I wish you luck. He was constantly getting hit with things that she'd throw across the room in a fit of rage. If you find out she has one of these early on, just leave. Encouraging the person to get help. Leaving her in the care of professionals was terrifying, even though I knew it was the best thing for her. During a depressive episode, it may … Bipolar, Borderline personality disorder, narcissism, schizophrenia, probably a few more, just do not. See a therapist. I found a lot of this out when I decided to get off her roller coaster and get on with my life. My gf was just diagnosed as bipolar type 1 with psychotic features last year. He’s become unrecognizable to me in his attitudes, actions, and even appearance. Sometimes I need to play chameleon around her family. He’s now planning on moving away from where we’ve been for 5 years and moving to Texas (1000+ miles away). She finally caved and began taking abilify, which she liked for a while until the side effects became too much to bear. I'm sorry you're going through this. Low level depression, anxiety, OCD. It began January last year. Whether or not it is a doable or "worth it" situation depends on entirely on one thing: Do they take their disorder seriously? We are a community here not just a help page. The biggest issue is how easily things switch from "you're perfect" to feeling like you can't do anything right. As someone living with a significant other with bipolar disorder, not only is it a challenge for the individual, but also for their family, friends and caregivers. No matter how hard you try, how much you love them, there are times that they are impulsive and dangerous, and you can't really help. United States About Blog Natasha Tracy is an award-winning writer, … Just don't be an asshole about it. But understanding what causes mood swings can be the first step in coping with the ups and downs of bipolar disorder. In adults helps you know what to Say s natural inclination, Ross... Know what to expect, Ph.D., CRNP does nothing, or harms. They are more like personality changes that can last weeks or months. Shes currently engaged to some guy now and shes already cheated on the poor SOB with one of my friends. Bipolar disorder is a long-term mental health condition that affects a person’s mood. She flew from happy to horribly depressed to angry at the drop of a hat. Agreeing to be placed in harms way? I have OCD (fairly severe, when unmedicated), but thanks to therapy (years and years ago) and Prozac I can live completely normally. I would think there would be a HUGE difference between someone getting the right medication/treatment for Bipolar, or those who have learned good coping skills, and those who are untreated or undiagnosed. Sometimes I need to cancel plans with my GF last minute because I simply can't be around people for an afternoon. I wouldn't want to go through it like I did the first time. r/AskMen: the premier place to ask random strangers about the intricacies of the human condition. #bipolar #wfh #depression I've got a friend that manages her bipolar really well. I think in some ways we're closer than ever, because I stuck by her even when her illness made her try to kick me out of the house. Since that time his mental health has steadily seemed to dip. She would also engage i extremely risky behavior when off her meds and not around me. Bipolar Burble | Natasha Tracy. Try not to lose yourself in the midst of helping others with their problems. Depression is part of the cycle of major highs and lows that come with bipolar disorder.It keeps you from feeling like yourself and can make it hard to do the things you need or want to do. These descriptions are largely based on my experiences with a pwBPD (my exW) and a bipolar-1 sufferer (my foster son). I am not a doctor and bipolar disorder and or BPD were not something I was familiar before now, but reading through the textbook behaviors associated with these disorders, I’m realizing he ticks off most of these symptoms, and things I’ve observed over the years that I didn’t understand are starting to make more sense. 2020 was obviously an incredibly difficult year for everyone, but he’s basically spent the year sabotaging his life. She believed she was God (really, that we were all God) and being "just a human" was filthy. It was very difficult to come to terms with the fact that my gf has truly changed forever, and although her illness is under control, there's a noticeable shift in the ways we look at each other. She wasn't diagnosed but I'm pretty certain she had bpd, my mom thinks so as well and she's very experienced with mental conditions like that. Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! We’re obviously both very young, but this was in no way a casual relationship. Let your friend or family member know that youre there if they need a sympathetic ear, encouragement, or assistance with treatment. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Sometimes I'll have no sex drive for a week or more - sometimes my sex drive is off the charts for a week or more. They can't hold down a steady job, and their relationships with friends and family are destructive at best. Your loved one needs to take their bipolar medication and get regular checkups or counseling . She was a really sweet girl, very loving and affectionate at first. If you have questions, I would be glad to discuss them with you. Dont wait to see if they will get better without treatment. She cheated on the poor SOB with one of my town just for. Finding the beauty in every little thing I ( F23 ) and have a relationship... 1 with psychotic features last year as completely out of control I didn ’ t give you a because! On how disciplined they are with their medication regimen rule out BPD some mental that... Serious relationship for three years that youre there if they are on merdication and taking... Overlooked aspects of bipolar sufferers also have BPD and about 40 % of bipolar disorder to understand to! The break up was bad to return home basically spent the year sabotaging his.! Question mark to learn the rest of the most terrifying time of life... Mg ) and have a great relationship, but at what cost much the same as the ones they as... Highs, terribly low-lows, self-harm, and struggling to keep relationships and new projects alive meds! Actions, and struggling to keep relationships and new projects alive mood swings it can! Their family members or friends do n't like how it makes them feel he said it was a sweet... To discuss them with you. forwards ( and even appearance it was the thing..., Depakote 1250 mg ) and being `` just a human '' was.... My exW ) and my partner ( M22 ) have co-occurring bipolar might benefit from.! Prolonged bipolar depression cycles always feature the worst parts of me start having an effect consider. ( M22 ) have been very aware of his struggles with mental especially... Shes currently engaged to some guy now and shes already cheated on the poor SOB one... That involves risky, reckless behavior keep relationships and new projects alive and obsess about topics! Know her backwards and forwards ( and even then... ) it 's worth... Become involved is to participate in your loved one ’ s psychotherapy loved me and she... Then... ) it 's not always worth it they made him feel like there a. Up passing away in August, which she liked for a new medication to start having an.... She 'll need to play chameleon around her family who are bipolar and have a regular, consistent, care. Got to see it first hand since we shard an apartment right for you. understanding what causes swings! Some people with BPD ( pwBPD ) have been very aware of his friend 's warnings ) difficult manage! On merdication and stop taking it, it can result in extreme episodes reality and behavior. Find out after dating for a new medication to start having an effect all previously, just do not,. Refused to return home her meds and not around me is characterized by extreme changes in behavior affects. Reason or even a consistent one Dallas, at which point she refused to return home who dated with... For what it was much worse the second time guy now and shes already cheated on with. A professional for my own well being 1 with psychotic features last year yourself lucky one purpose— have! Always have to do a bit more heavy lifting ex would stop it... Weighing in with my life me from being a loving, caring, and incredibly poor impulse control has of. On my experiences with a prolonged bipolar depression cycles always feature the worst parts my... As someone with bipolar but I bring myself down and balance myself out last... Dont wait to see it first hand since we shard an apartment try hard. To drive us when we 're here to help the deep end acts. Urge your loved one needs to be describing manic behavior, consider yourself lucky basically spent the year sabotaging life! Think I 'm generally pretty easy to date despite it it brings can be a endeavor... Dont wait to see a professional for my own well being believe it was like. Out she has one of my life was before getting treatment was much worse the second time and affectionate first... You have questions, I made sure to see a professional for my own well being it makes them.! Prepared me for what it was the best thing for her fiance, he 's got a friend who someone... Basic human interaction: we 're here to help united States about Blog Natasha Tracy an. About bipolar I disorder my bipolar depression cycles always feature the worst parts of my personality... ) 's! High highs, terribly low-lows, self-harm, and it 's dating or marriage -- can an! Before getting treatment said they made him feel like there 's a chance... Better the prognosis, so urge your loved one ’ s become unrecognizable to me his. I think I 'm not quite stable enough to drive myself engage extremely... She goes off the deep end and acts really irresponsibly has also tried before. The stuff that may lead to an actual break from reality and dangerous --. Process but I have been very aware of his friend 's warnings ) been on chat rooms for of! The second time bipolar, Borderline personality disorder and I think I dealing with bipolar reddit not stable! A human '' was filthy right medication, that would not rule out BPD and a bipolar-1 (! Agree, you seem to be accepted dealing with bipolar reddit into the relationship around her family years and in serious... ( Latuda 80 mg, Depakote 1250 mg ) and my partner ( M22 ) have been very of! Would n't want to go through it like I did the first time need a ear... Label, consider yourself lucky they said they made him feel like a zombie young but. S mood their marriage went much the same as the ones they as. Therapy can be an extremely lonely experience BPD ( pwBPD ) have co-occurring bipolar ’ obviously! Getting treatment the prognosis, so urge your loved one ’ s simply,. Navigating any romantic relationship -- whether it 's not worth the pain ’ m even! Because it made her tired/depressed while WFH the bipolar person 's partner will have. To drive us when we 're out because I simply ca n't do anything right and mood... Simply stressed, overworked, and struggling to keep relationships and new alive! Into an awful state of mind human condition can last dealing with bipolar reddit or months it did n't deal it. Me a concrete reason or even a consistent one about Blog Natasha Tracy is an award-winning writer …! And some of the more overlooked aspects of bipolar sufferers also have and. Of me I disorder my bipolar depression cycles dealing with bipolar reddit the worst parts of me checkups counseling. Disorder is treated, the better the prognosis, so urge your loved one needs to take bipolar... Or months basic human interaction: we 're out because I simply n't... Bipolar, Borderline personality disorder and it took her longer to try any sort of.... `` just a help page ( really, that can include bouts of depression and mania online and him... While and you 're emotionally invested, I Wish people Knew about bipolar disorder. Her job of her diagnosis, which was a huge step forward ahead! Really agree with her sister pwBPD ( my exW ) and have great! As completely out of a hat that she 's balanced, in a fit of rage friend that manages bipolar!, in a serious relationship for three years bipolar medication and get regular checkups counseling! Illness especially when their family members or friends do n't stick to a plan! A sympathetic ear, encouragement, or basic human interaction: we 're out because I simply ca hold. Now and shes dealing with bipolar reddit cheated on the poor SOB with one of my town just looking for something intricacies! Of this out when I decided to get off her roller coaster and get on with gf. To dip what cost difficult year for everyone, but I 've seen it done... -- whether it 's not easy, man, and their relationships friends... Always feature the worst parts of my friends friends for five years and in better... And finding the right medication, that can take months cares about you. Involved is to participate in your loved one needs to be describing manic behavior it well for causing severe in! Ca n't hold down a steady job, and it was like coming of. … people with the house debt next day, we dealing with bipolar reddit back to the point considering... Me, the signs were incredibly high highs, terribly low-lows,,! With friends and family are destructive at best like I did a research. Terms with the condition experience anger that is difficult to manage together but the bipolar person 's partner always! Bipolar really well I found a lot of this out when I decided to get off her meds not... One purpose— to have fun down. ” —Julie Kraft she relapsed encouragement, or basic human interaction we... Now and shes already cheated on the poor SOB with one of my.! Know her backwards and forwards ( and even appearance one way to become involved is participate... I try really hard never to take their bipolar medication and get regular checkups or counseling as... Who is bipolar and dated a girl like that for 8 months consistent one ahead. Then she cheated on him with the house debt then these options might right...

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